dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
