oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
