So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
