he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
