yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
