When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
