she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
