I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh god the rape fog is back!
i love accidental penises.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
