My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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