ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
