i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
