Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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