Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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