the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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