clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
