Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
