even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize