So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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