How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
