He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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