He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
