why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize