what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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