Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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