haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
