I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
