I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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