You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
