Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
