no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
