I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
