Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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