My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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