i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
