I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
