ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize