Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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