please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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