You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
