i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
