i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
