You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
