What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
