you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
