i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
