If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's never too late to be topless.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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