so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
