Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize