Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Two words: blizzard sex
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
