drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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