She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
