I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
