white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
