he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
this hospital has no fireball
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize