So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
