Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she woke up with a sticky ear
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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