so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
