I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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