I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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