I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Randomize
