If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize