if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
