i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
