Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
