Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
