Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
