I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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