he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
