I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
