So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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