ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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