More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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