its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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