remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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