Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
