I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
