This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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