Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
