I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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